Be Still (A 2020 Reflection)

As 2020 comes to an end, I decided to take a little solo camping/hiking trip to reflect on this year. It was very cold and icy. Hiking with sneakers with no crampons was a very bad idea (what an idiot lol). But I sure did have an awesome time alone with God.

Life is like a hike. On this trail, at some point, I ascended about 1500m just in 0.5 mile (I was dying). At some point, it was just relatively flat. At some point, it literally took me 1 hour to climb icy rocks just for 1 mile. At some point, I got lost in the dark (next time I gotta get the trail map on my phone) and had to try different paths.

During the flat part of the trail, I was anxious of whether I was going on the right path and when I will hit the next difficult section. I didn’t let my heart to slow down. I realized I was not used to slowing down at all. Even though 2020 was quite an eventful and unforgettable year, it was relatively “flat” for me. I was very blessed and fortunate that all my and my family’s needs were met. However, in the previous years of my life, I got used to the lifestyle of continuously grinding without stopping. I rarely slowed down. It was like I was trying to run “ahead” of everyone including God. This year was different. I was forced to slow down and evaluate. To be honest, on the drive there, I felt like I wasted this year because It seemed like I haven’t accomplished much this year.

But on top of the mountain, God… spoke to me saying, “Be still. Wait on me.” On the way down, I kept replaying that in my head and asking, “until when, Lord?” Then I realized God said wait not go. I remembered around June, God told me the same thing; and I said I will wait. Somehow, I started to forget as this year ends. By God’s grace, I was reminded that once again. 2020 was not a waste after all. In fact, God allowed me to build so many life-lasting relationships. I’m so thankful! Waiting on the Lord is not a waste. It is an act of faith.

Lord, I will continue to wait on you! Make my life count!